This morning was both tough and a blessing at one time. But it was one of those awful times where you know you are exactly where God has destined for you. A time where things are at their worst, but a time for which you were created. Some find those times playing sports, and some reading; some writing, and some working with their hands; some creating a work of art, and some engineering a fine computer program or new machine. Somehow, God has made me for disaster. And he often puts me in the midst of it.
Amy Erwin was killed Friday night by her husband, who then turned the gun on himself. It is a worst-case scenario; a tragedy of the first order. Two children, 12 and 6, are left parentless, with a a horrifying story of how it happened. To make it only worse, Amy was a teacher of third grade children. And she had taught for 12 years, so many of her first year children were either in college or starting families of their own. The impact of her death, and that of her life, rippled far and wide.
What a privilege to sit among those in grief, those experiencing one of the worst moments of their lives. What an honor to have the words, the guidance, the steady heart and voice given me by God (it could not come from me alone) to offer comfort, understanding and Christ's presence in that moment. What a joy to come so alive at such a time, to see so clearly and to sense such purpose. For it is at such moments that I see God and his purposes so clearly - perhaps at a time in the lives of others where the fog and din of grief could not make Him seem any more distant...or nonexistent.
What is your passion? What makes you come alive? For what has God made you? Have you discovered it? If you have, you know it. If you're not living it, you're not living. God has placed in each of you such a living moment, such a gift, such a niche. Look into Ephesians 4, if you're made for Church service. Look into Romans 12 and see which personality suits you. Find a Bible character whose story speaks to you. Learn them well. What drives them? What are their gifts, their faults? What is their relationship with God? Is it anything like yours? Or can it inspire you to get closer?
To be present for another's darkest time is not everyone's cup of tea. But as painful as it is, it seems to be mine. Act outside of my burden, my gift, and I am not true to who I am. Act outside of it, and either someone else will suffer a lack or God will simply raise up someone else, and I miss out on His best will for me. I pray that in coming alive today I was able to bring comfort to so many who found themselves in the valley of the shadow. For any and every gift from God is only a gift if it serves others, rather than self. In serving others, with humility, is where the gift ultimately brings the host closest to the God that gave the gift in the first place.
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