But pain is always a good starting point for reflection. The Daniel Fast is intended to create some artificially-imposed pain. It is intended to take out some of the comfort from our lives and make us realize our dependence upon God for all things. It is purposed to undermining our personal strength, which we mistakenly believe is our own, and therefore point our way toward a loving God - the one, true source of our strength, the one in whom we live, move and have our being. Pain is the ultimate equalizer. It puts all men and women on the same level. No one escapes some level of pain. All of us have inherited the same disease, and whether the pain comes from within our bodies, through disease or dysfunction, or from without, through the loss of a loved one or the tragedies that attend life on this planet, we all dance to the mixed strains of joy and pain.
While enduring an encroaching migraine (brought on by that neck-back spasm) I ministered this morning to a couple who had just lost twins at 24 weeks of pregnancy. To add insult to injury, the deaths were one day apart, leaving no time for hope or solace, but spreading their anguish across 24 hours before true grieving could begin. I saw instantly that my pain was small in comparison to theirs and immediately shut mine off for an hour or two. Pain also has its levels and varieties, such that, as C.S. Lewis quips, in the absence of greater pains such as those from which we ask God to be spared, even a stubbed toe could become the equivalent of a holocaust. The point of this imagery is to remind us that our desire from God to be freed from pain is equivocal. We would ask to be freed from the horrors of the world we have created, but then, were He to remove the worst of it, would cry out at Him for the pain that remains. It is our human state to decry pain. It is our fallen state that makes us angry with him for its presence in our lives, in whatever state it arrives. But it is our destiny to endure pain, as it is the destiny of the fool to endure pain who unwisely chooses his own wisdom over that of the experienced and wisened man's counsel. (Too often it is the fool that believes himself to be the wise counselor.)
As C.S. Lewis also offers, "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains; It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." Are you alive? You know it not from pleasures but from the contrast your pleasures receive from pain. Are you in Christ? You know it not from the beauty of His presence that you now experience, but from the initial pain of realization that you have come to His presence through finding oneself to be the gravest of sinners, deserving of no less than eternal punishment. There is no other way to the Holy of Holies than by the altar of sacrifice.
The joy that is now ours is that our pains have meaning. I know what my neck pain means. It often manifests when I am bearing some pastoral burden. It limits how much of that load I will bear before I simply must give it over to God. Why does He not simply keep me from the pain? Because I, like you, need a megaphone to remind me Who is the One that takes away sin, that cleanses the community, that washes me clean. I am not the one. My pain is a constant reminder of Him on whom I must lean. I am not sufficient in myself to lead or guide the Church...or even my family. I must have Him. I say with some humility that, without pain, I might never seek Him. Pain exists because I do not seek Him rightly, or oft enough. God allows pain to keep me humble, to keep me focused in the right direction, to keep me aware of my need for His grace.
"Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:7b-10
If even Paul needed a reminder, so do I. We are not what we are to be. We will not attain that until God has done with us what He must. Neither are we what we once were, if we are in Christ. Our pain has purpose. In this, "We do not grieve as those who have no hope." Our pain has a trajectory, a meaning, a refining purpose. Suffer pain in the world and you suffer as those who shake their fists at God. Suffer as Jesus suffered, and your pain has eternal consequence...for yourself and for those you impact with your life. George MacDonald wrote: “The Son of God suffered unto death, not that men might not suffer, but that their sufferings might be like His.” Paul said, "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings..." (Phil. 3:10a). We are not given a Gospel of fluff and sugar, but of meat and marrow. It is not a truth that avoids the uncomfortable, but that helps us to renew our vision of it. We are but jars of clay. The Spirit that is within us screams through our pains eternal truths that we could not apprehend in our pleasures.
Therefore, I will boast all the more about my weaknesses, my thorns, my pains. For they are the marks that keep me from being self-reliant. They are Sir Gawain's green sash. They are Daedalus' wings. They are Superman's kryptonite. They are the things that remind me to be still, and know that He is God. He is God alone. He doesn't need another, yet He chooses us. I would not have known that except through pain.
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