Has it really been over a week since I last posted? I suppose there's a reason for that, and it relates to the verse I posted as a title. Here's the brief history...
It seems that every time I've been put on a preaching "rotation," where the preaching duties are shared with one or more pastors, I am always hit with a spiritual doldrums during the week leading up to my "turn." Whether it was the occasional opportunity to preach back at Mountainview, or the times I get to ascend the pulpit while on deployment, it seems that I have been destined to suffer the week prior.
It was no different this past week, as I was scheduled to preach at Chapel NeXt today. While I won't bore you with my confessional, just imagine feeling far away from God, all the while being faced full-on with all of your own temptations and frustrations for about a week, knowing you have to be on you spiritual game for the message. Well, it always seems to turn out just fine - God always shows up, as promised, and I end up seeming to vault out of the pit just in time for the message and then spin up to new highs following.
Today the worship crew was ON. They sounded great and even the sound board issues seem to have been smoothed out. It's hard to judge one's own speaking, but I felt God's presence and I spoke, from my own standard, with power and authority. I believe God was glorified, the Gospel was preached and people in the service received something of value. While my feelings about my own messages are not terribly important to God's glory, I have to say I feel good about today.
So, Lord, do I really have to go through weeks like this every time I have to preach? I know you never leave, nor forsake, but it sure feels like it at these times. Do I really want to preach weekly, that being the case? Whatever you call me to do, Lord, I will do it. I will look to you, as Jesus did, even while uttering those words from the cross, "My God, my God! Why hast thou forsaken me?" For it was later in the very Psalm he quoted that the following phrase rights the dischord of that cry:
"For He has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; He has not hidden His face from him but has listened to his cry for help."
In any event, the coolest part of this is that several of my soldiers from the battalion came to the service today. Many took communion there, probably for the first time in months. The message, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven." rang forth, calling all to rely not on their own strength, neither to try to save themselves, but to trust in Jesus for their salvation and their endurance.
Thanks, Cheri and church, for your prayers. Lastly, please continue to remember at least 5 families who lost a loved one this week here in Afghanistan. Pray also for the seeming dozens of innocent Afghanis each week who are killed, not by American air raids as the media would have you believe, but by a truly evil and brutal Taliban horde, whose appetite is their own stomach and whose end is fixed in hatred and death. The stories the media SHOULD tell you about their brutality and torture are not being told. We truly are fighting evil human beings over here. The poor citizens of this country who would love their freedom suffer the greatest losses as we try to root out the cancer that is the Taliban.
In His grip.
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