Well, it's been way too long since I last posted. At the end of last month I received the call indicating my grandmother had died. Actually, the notification came via Facebook - interesting how technology changes things. My grandparents never advanced beyond the technological stage of cable t.v. They preferred handwritten letters, telephone calls and hard-copy pictures, as opposed to email, webcam and Facebook.
My grandfather died two years ago now. I officiated that funeral, which was just two short months after I had officiated his brother's funeral - my Uncle Ray. I struggled with the words for Pop's funeral then, but when I was asked to do Guppy's funeral (many of the grandchildren called my grandmother "Guppy"), the words came much easier. Perhaps it was because it was easier to eulogize both Pop and Guppy together. After over 65 years of marriage, they had truly become one with one another. While they each certainly had their own personalities, likes and dislikes and peculiarities, the love they shared bound them in such a way that it is hard to think of them in isolation. Certainly, they exemplified the kind of marriage that we might all dream of having.
I am told the difficulties early on in their family life were much the same as we all experience - that there was not always the harmony I saw between them in the eyes of a grandchild. But that is a wonderful thing about aging. New generations and new friends all get to see you with new eyes capable of beholding what you've become, as opposed to whence you came. It is harder for family members and old friends to offer the grace to let go of past wrongs or shortcomings and to accept your growth. It's hard to see the butterfly when all you've known is the caterpillar. If only our own metamorphoses were so sudden, rather than the subtle, gradual process we normally endure.
But the occasion of the funeral has allowed me a couple of weeks with my family, both the nuclear and the extended. Emergency leave from Afghanistan spirited me to Ft. Lauderdale, where my wife and children were enjoying the Nationals Tournament in Taekwondo. Actually, it was a series of five flights that got me to Ft. Lauderdale - a very long and trying flight, especially considering I spent the longest leg, from Frankfurt, Germany to NY City with a screaming infant in my row. I was able to drop in half way and watch my daughters win silver and bronze in poomse (forms). My boys did very well for their first Nationals, but did not place. They learned a little about how tough the competition gets in the higher belts.
In Tallahassee my family got to meet many of my relatives for the first time, including seeing my father for the first time in almost 10 years. It turned out to be a great reunion. My boys don't even remember their grandfather, so it was great to see them together. It was unanimously decided that my kids loved their Uncle John. Truly, he was very good in his interactions with them. I wish they had more time to get to know each of the uncles.
The funeral itself, as I said, went well. It is hard to see them go, as they were the center-point for our family, the place where everyone gathered and the impetus for reunions and other occasions for meeting. When I get the chance, I will post the funeral service for those who wish to read it.
Well, my time is now short as I sit here in Amsterdam awaiting my next flight. It was very hard leaving my family again, though I feel extremely blessed to have seen them. God is very good. In his foreknowledge he saw the coming loss and wrapped within it a great blessing. What are the chances that my grandmother would pass away while my family was already in Florida? Had it been any other week, I would've flown Cheri out without the kids in order to meet me for the funeral. Had I not been deployed, it would've been a stretch for both of us to afford the flight. And yet, with the wonderful emergency leave policy of the military, I was granted the airfare, the time and the flexibility to go to Florida, pick up my family from the tournament, and take them to the Funeral. A few days at Disney World in addition and you have a great time of reunion. But as I said, it was very difficult putting them on a plane the day before I left.
They truly are a huge part of me and I suppose I feel the truth of that more deeply with every departure. Time is something we never get back, so the soldier's time lost with family is perhaps the greatest of the sacrifices they make. God will redeem the time in the end - and I thank Him for smiling on my family and me, even in the midst of a great loss.
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